I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she peed on how many people?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
