hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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