Don't you send me to vm
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
