I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize