And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
