Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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