I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize