I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
