You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
