About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Randomize
