look no pants
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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