hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
NoShamevember. You game?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
