Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
