I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
