Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize