there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
