I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
