at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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