i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
