just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
