Me. At least after what I've been through.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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