And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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