Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
