Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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