This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
