I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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