Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
