Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
