I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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