i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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