Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You pole danced in your parka.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
