Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
