Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
