im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I don't deserve a penis
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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