bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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