yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
