He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Sorry my hands just texted you
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
