Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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