i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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