Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize