I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
