Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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