I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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