East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
