her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
