Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
