so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I don't deserve a penis
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
