i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Dicks are not precious.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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