Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
