Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
