Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
