I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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