After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i came on her dog
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
