Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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