I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
