How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
