I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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