please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
