Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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