I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
